I can see that my boss and I are going to have words. I like they guy, he's a nice man, but his perception of reality is kinda off.

I mention this before: the guy who held my postiong be froe he left never did any of his paper work, and paperwork is a big part of the job. So now whenever I cant find an order my boss lokks at me like I'm guilty of some huge crime. So I started fixing him with an evil stare and everytime he starts on how important paperwork is to the job, I remind him that his old assistant sat at the same desk for two years and never did on freaking peice of attaching paperwork. So dont strees to me how important it is when you knew that the old guy wasnt doing his job and you let it slide.

What bothers me is that to him I come off as this lazy young black girl who doesn't want to do her work( I swear that is exactly how he looks at me), which is far from the case. If he were to look in the files every peice of paperwork or any order I have done since I've been there is where it should be. I told him anything before that is not my problem.

Also I feel sick. My throat hurts I think it's about time for me to get the flu. Teehee. I about due for the flu.

Isn't it strange how you could love someone and yet want to slap the hell out of them sometimes?

Today my friend calls me to tell me some insanly bitchy thing her sister did to her this evening... but this is nothing new. Her sister is always doing fucked up shit to her. Lately I've just been too tired to really entertain her complaining about it. It's always the same complaint and I ask her why she still get worked up about the shtty things her sister does when she knows they are coming days in advance? Why all the aggravation when this is nothing new with her older sister?

I don't think that makes me a bad friend. Most times I'll just bit my tongue and listen; let her vent but these last few days have been a bit twinging on my nerves. So tonight she sends me a instant message tellimg me she stressed and has a headache and I'll admit my first response was "and?" then I told her stop stressing, take a Advil and go lay down, seconds later her away message comes up and it's: " didnt realize I was such a bother to people... won't make that mistake again"

WTF?! IS she kidding me?! IS she serious?! IS she fucking five years old?!

I love the girl but I'm not in the mood tonight to entertain this childishness. She's fucking 23 years old and she's too old to play that "wahhh the world is so mean to me" game. I know she's kinda stuck in her situation at the moment but most of the stress she brings on herself and it's unecessary stress. I think everyone is entitled to get pissed off now and again about somethign someone does to them but if it's stress over things that are not surprising and pop up every week then why get mad at all.

Now that I have vented my frustration I going to leave it open for a few opinions. Am I a bad friend?

I'm going to let her be angry about it tonight but I'm almost sure she'll be over it by tomorrow.

I don't undetstand how my mother could go into the hospital for a outpatient procedure and three days later she might be in need of a blood transfusion. My mom has always had heart problems from when she had rhumatic fever as a child and last September she went into the hospital for open heart surgery. She's been doing really well right up until now. She's been on disability so she was home. She was getting her strength back and gaining all the weight she lost back ,but she went in for this procedure Thursday and she's been in the hospital since then.

I guess it's just because I don't like the hospital that she is in now, that I'm freaking out . When she was in the hospital after her surgery, St. Vincent's here in NYC I wasn't worried about whether she was being treated and taken care of properly, but with this other place... just doesn't sit well with me. I know a lot of hospital staff are streched really thin and I know that they cant be everyewhere at once but I just worry. When I went to see her last night I was just very put off.

My mother and I are very close... like Gilmore Girls close( in case you need an idea of how close) and I get really defensive when it comes to her and I want to be sure she's taken care of.

Last night my little sister, she'd 13, came in with a ballon and a teddy bear that she got from a boy in her school. It was so cute. I think that was her first offical Valentine. SHe claims she doesn't like this boy but obviously he likes her enough that he went out and got her a little something.

However, because some people in my family are constant bringers of hateration( yes i made that word up), my cousin had to say something negative about the teddy bear. I think it was suppsoed to say "I love you", or "Be my valentine", or something like that, and the fact that it didn't was something she had to instantly point out. Here it is this boy made a nice gesture to my sister and people have to go an ruin it. I guess the batteries ran out on it but she just had to zoom in on the negative, calling it a cheap gift.

I know the petty jealousy is to be expected between young girls, but it jsut really gets me that between my sister and my cousin it comes with even more force because of the hateful things my Aunt always says in front of my cousin. You expect the behavior from people you don't know but from your own family it's ridiculous.

If there was ever a reason I loathe the media sometimes, it's because of the way they are dragging Heath Ledger's name though the mud with all this drug stuff. Yes I know that his death was suspicious, but I wish they would back off. The media seems determined to dig into every piece of his life as if to prove that he was some sort of drug addict, and it pissing me off so much. Now there is this video that supposedly show him with some guy who is snorting cocaine. If having a friend or acquaintance mean that you or I are drug addicts then that should count for a lot of people in this world.

I know when famous people die a lot of things they did come to light but all this coverage seems extra and I don't like that they are seriously dragging this guy's name through the mud. Someone like him should be rememeberd for what he gave to his craft not his personal exploits, if he does indeed have any.

Ok and now that I got that off my chest...

In lighter news, I have this icon post I'm about to make that is so big I'm going to have to spilt it into a couple of posts. It's 260 icons in all and man I did not mean for it too be that many, but that just how it turned out.

There is really nothing on TV... and it's KILLING MEEEEEEEE!!!!


The writers strike has put a serious dent in my tv watching of late. Most of the shows I love have either none or one or two new episode left to air then NOTHING!!!! Anybody whose been keeping up knew this was coming but WSD(Writers Strike Depression as I will now call it) is on in full swing.

My list goes as follows:

Heroes -zero episodes left
Gossip Girl -two episodes left
House -three episodes left
Supernatural -four episodes left
Law and Order:SVU -two episodes left
CSI -zero episodes left
Chuck -two episodes left
Pushing Daisies -zero episodes left
Bones -three episodes left
Bionic Woman -zero epsides left

My only real saving grace is The Sarah Connor Chronicles which just started and is awesome so far at two episodes in. It has seven of its nine epside left so that will tide me over till March. I just hope that if it survives long term they move it from that Mondays @ 9pm spot because Heroes comes on then and I do not miss Heroes for anything. It one of those shows that i have to watch in real time becasue I'm crazy like that and DVR is weird for me with that.

I want the writers to get what they deserve, but it just seems that at this point neither side is going to give. The demands are not outlandish I think, so I dont see why the studios can't just give them what they want. After all the writers are what makes the shows work and honestly when something is off about a show, who are the first people to catch any kind of flack...the writers.

The even bigger problem is what happens come September when all the shows would be starting new seasons. Will the strike be over by then?

I think I might cry.

Ok so there is this kid who is close friend of my family. Actully he's a friend of my cousin that the family has known since he was little. Actually I knew his older brothergrwoing up and I miss him. I feel for the kid because the adults in his life are somewhat backwards and its hard to decide if they care about what happens to him or not. That said I don't mind doing the kid a favor once in while but a while ago he developed this really smug attitude.

He's as rude as can be and he practically burned every bridge he had with my family. right down the block from where my aunt lives. He's at her house everyday, eating her food, using her furniture and what not. Then he's as rude as shit too her. My aunt is too nice, she'll ask this little asshole to take out the garbage for her and he turns up his nose like that not his job. This is after she just feeding his little ass too. Then he'll ask her for money saying he doesnt have an, but yet the boy has an after school job and he's always got new clothes or sneakers everytime I see him. So not only is he rude he's a liar as well.

Anyway he goes to school near my house and he knows that my mom or me are usually home. My mom had heart surgery back in September so she on disabilty leave for the time being. So lately he calls me and he ask if he can come in and charge his phone, I said yes a couple of time but then he tried to make it an everyday thing. I had to tell this little boy(he's 17 or 18) that my niceness( not a word i know) extends but so far and this little prick says to me "But I'm family and you gonna let me in when I ring the bell. Im gonna keep ringing the bell to you let me in." He's got this attitude like I and my family owe him something. His issue with his own family stem mostly because he wants to be a difficult teen. His dad took his house keys and told him to be home by his midnight curfew, but he refuses to abide by that rule so he's speant more than a couple of nights sleeping outside. He ran that story by me once and I saked him what time he was supposed to be home and I told him that it was his fault for not being home when he was told to be.


He rang my bell today even though I told him I was having company over and it was like his needs are primary to what anyone else wants. So I promptly slammed the door in his face, because it's my house and I wasn't inviting him in. This little bastard kept ringing my bell. Finally my company had to go out there and put the fear in him.

He's just one of those really obnoxious people( like Causette describes) that you just dont want to be around. He's rude, sneaky and really ties to get over on anyone he thinks he can. I feel for the kid in somereseopcts but I know when soemone is trying to take advantage of me and mine and i dont like that at all.

You know I'm not one to complain constantly about my body because I do love it but sometimes I hate that fact that I have such lagre chest. That feeling ususlly comes when I go shopping for clothes. I've been trying to find the perfect Peacoat for a while now and i cant because I can't find one that will button over my chest.

I mean I saw this cute red peacoat and as with all my clothes the ultimate test is whether they will fit over my chest, which it didn't much to my disappointent.

I know there are girls out there who wish and pay money for a bigger chest and I would tell them in a heartbeat that it is not all it's cracked up to be. One of the biggest problems is finding tops and jackets that fit, it's a pain in the ass. You either have to get a shirt that is bigger therefore it fits all frumpy or you have to settle for it being uber-tight which is not always attractive or work friendly.

I think I'm like most women I have a love hate relatioship with my body.

Ok that's it I just had to get that off my chest- teehee!

My cousin Tiggs birthday is next week so last night we tried to go clubbing to celebrate. It was a total bust. Now there were five of us: My 3 cousins Tiggs, Risse and Vicky, our friend Andre and myself. Now since Andre and Vicki are only 19 we had to go to a club that caters to and 18+ crowd. Now the rest of us are used to going to clubs that are for people 21 and up and anybody who goes clubbing(in NYC) on occasion knows what the difference is between the two.

The club we went to was called Fahrenheit...and we stood outside for an hour on a line that moved nowhere and mind you it was cold here in NYC. To make matters worse we were on the line for the people who were planning to buy a table for the night and that line wasn't moving. This was really a first for me, Tiggs and Risse because usually when we go to the club and we tell the people that we plan to spend some money they usually let us right in. I'm not trying to sound snotty or anything it's just I want to get across how disorganize the whole thing was. Supposedly the guys who were throwing the party most of their own friends couldnt get in. But I think that because they were trying to get in for free.

There was so much pushing and shoving going on to the point where the bouncers just closed the doors. So at that point we gave up the ghost @ Fahrenheit and tried our hand at another club. So anyway we tried going to another club called Spa but the club caters to the 21 and older crowd. So that was a bust as well.

There were a few entertaing moments: like the guy who really thought I couldn't feel him touching my hair. Freak! And my cousin Risse met this girl she been having a few problems with in the past.I will say this about last night. We were more entertained standing on those lines and just laughing and joking at our situation.

And now...

I have the sniffles.